It takes years of conscious practice to undo all the negative conditioning we’ve been exposed to through our teachers, parents, family, friends, peers, and society as a whole. Of course, this doesn’t mean we never learn anything positive from these figures - we do - but we also learn a lot of unhelpful things that we need to unlearn.
Identity vs Image
Identity is who you are. Image is how you are viewed by others. Both influence the choices that you make but identity offers much greater longer term rewards.
“What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things.”
When we think about it with a PURE effort we realize that the only things that TRULY matter in life are the things that we do to BLESS others, and that the only thing that will truly matter when we leave this earth are our relationships with the people around us we develop, and our relationship with God. When we use people we pretty much wreck our relationships with those people. Relationships are supposed to be built on solid ground, and using people for certain things, wether it be tangible (money) or intangible (your own self esteem boost), doesn’t allow for a solid foundation to a relationship at all.
When we develop a love for things in our lives instead of for life itself we truly miss the point of life. Material things may be able to satisfy your appetite for a short while, but love will satisfy appetites for a lifetime. Learn how to love people for who they are and use things around you as water to a plant, only to create growth and beauty, not to create and maintain life.